By Sri Sri Ravi Shankar,
When someone blames you, what do you usually do? Blame them back or you put up resistance in yourself. When someone blames you, they actually take away some negative karma from you.
If you understand this and don’t put up resistance and feel happy about it, then you drop your resistance. “Oh, good. That person is blaming me. Good. Something is going away.” And when you drop the resistance, your karma goes away. Do you see what I’m saying?
So when someone blames you and you put up resistance in your mind, and you don’t react, then you are not allowing them to take the negative karma. Outside you may resist, but inside if you don’t resist, and feel happy, “Oh, good, somebody is there to blame me and take some negative karma,” you will feel immediately lighter.
How does it feel to you when someone blames you? Do you feel some heaviness? Usually, when someone blames you, you feel hurt and you feel unhappy, you feel sad. This is all because you’re . . . resisting. That is it. What you resist, persists. The ignorant person tells someone, “Don’t blame me because it hurts me.”
An enlightened person also says “Don’t blame me.” Do you know why? Because it might hurt you. This is a beautiful point. What are the points? You get hurt because you resist the blame. When someone blames you, you resist it inside. Outside you may not resist, but inside when you resist, then that hurts you.
An ignorant person warns you, “You better not hurt me, you better not blame me because I will feel hurt.” Someone warns you not to blame them because it will hurt them and they’ll do something harmful to you out of revenge.
An enlightened person says “Don’t blame me because it will hurt you.” So here you say, don’t blame because of compassion. You can tell someone, don’t blame me out of compassion, or you can say it out of anger.
JGD,
The master knows…what i am looking for…………………so he answers my question…
Goshhhh, this is indeed a beautiful article what has brighten my view… Thank U for sharing….!!!
My dear Sanjib,
Wish you a very Happy Morning !!! Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful article of Guruji. He has all the answers of our questions for day to day life !!!
“When a worldly man is miserable, he blames the people around him, the system and the world in general. When a seeker is miserable, he blames the world, but in addition he blames the path, the knowledge and himself.
It is better not to be a seeker so that you blame less. But then a seeker, a sadhak has much more enjoyment. And when there is more joy, the contrast is greater. There is more love in life and more pain. A certain level of maturity is needed to see things as they are and not blame the path, the self and the world.
You are not here to blame,
You are not here to cry
You are not here to be miserable
You are not here to worry……” Sri Sri
HI Sanjib…wishing a very thoughtful morning…!!!!
sometimes i cant believe that the question comes to my mind from day to day problems and i get all answers from the posts …in form of some discussion or in form of some articles..one day back only i felt that i was blamed so much for the thing i did not have any idea or intentionaly done work still i have to hear so rude words but first time i dealt with patience and not geting angry at anything just things went smoothly and everything in end sorted out….
i believe everything happens in world is in the form of circles.and we all the time are under the efects of action and reactions and cause and effects…we do something that is cause then in return of this someone does something action that effects us and in retrun we do something to react that so goes on and on…these circles can be broken just by taking control of our actions and reactions..like we are under impresion from childhood that if someone is good to us we behave good…if someone hurt us we feel bad and we want to hurt them or if not stil our reflex action keeps us saying to do sosmething bad or feel negatively about that person..and if do so it gives us momentary satisfaction we feel good that time thinking we have taken our revenge..but then what…it wil go on..but if we stop for a moment and think may be we get this becuase of our some previous karmas and we take this negativity accept it but dont do any reaction towards and that is it we broke that circle that could go endless…
but this can only be done if we are aware enough to understand this..l
Lord JESUS was such an enlightened and strong person that he took al the negatiivity worst form of thrown on him but did something positive in return of every that…..He prayed to god for them also who did wrong to him saying that forgive them as they dont know what they are doing in ignorance..
i am not sayiing that we can reach til that heights of thinking but stil we can make a little difference in our attitude .As an ignorant person wil say that dont hurt him as he wil feel hurt or bad..
but an Awakened person wil say that dont hurt HIM same words but the differencer he says so as he feel who wil hurt him may get hurt themselves .so Awakened person wont take any blame on himself as he knows it is not going to hurt him or shatter his centredness and he wont
react to the blame instead produce positivety out of that also…
so only way to break the circle of cause and effect …blame and hurt is to just control over our own reactions to when people do negative to us think negative about us or blame us….is just dont react the way they expect us to do..as that wil be their victory why we have allow them to win over us…why not we keep patience and ask them what we needed to do for them so that they can also find somechange in us and may be because of us theire negaitivity also changes…but some people who are not open enough to listen to us just leave them thinking that they are ignorant and they wil understand when they get knowledge meanwhile no need of our losing balance of mind becuase of them…
when we offer flowers to god…our hands also get fragranted and we feel good…
if we throw mud on someone obviously we have to pick the mud n smell wil come in our hands als..
so whatever people wil do it wil affect them …so be like mirror ..ppl see with love they wil feel love from us if they blame or hate us they wil only feel negatie…HOW A MIRROR GOING TO EFECT TO HIMSELF..??
beautiful person comes see his beautiful image …ugly wil come sees his own ugliness…MIRROR IS STILL BEAUTIFUL IN HIMSELF…
Thanks Sanjib i got an answer for my question by reading the article of Guruj and analysing my own thoughts…n that is wonderful journey i feel to analyse my inner self daily…and so many thoughts cocme out of this journey….
thanks and regards and love to you …and ofcourse our
DIVINE GURUJI..SSR … JGD….
Hi sanjeeb ,
i like to write one quote on this topic ,nothing to explain you explained very well.
“All blame is a waste of time.
No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”
very true Anjali…but when someone hurts the sole it comes form inside ..
Diya hurts always reach the souls..but we cant allow ourselves to get hurt whole life and suffer more and more n those who hurt us they dont evern bother about that and keep enjoying their life so why we suffer for whom..??? so just we have to be strong enough and dont allow anyone to hurt us again…dont allow the hurt feeling rach inside heart and souls to break it or shatter it…be strong be brave and take the life and people lightyl…if they try to blame or hurt you it should be their loss not ours anymore….all the best ..n regards…to you…:)
easy in words but Rekha..i have practice for long 2 years but i cant stop blaming the one who actually made disaster ..
Diya it is not just i gave words to you dear i never tell anything that i have not experienced n never give such advice that i feel it is not possible i havve gone through so many hurts and out of experience only i told you that we just hurt oursleves more and it is not imposible to be away from more hurting ourselves by being strong and aware by taking inspirations from elnlightened souls…
Thanks for your advise .i will try to practice in life.
Sanjibji.. its really nice……too good..
hi-i feel if somone is blamin-just let it go-listen fmo one ear and make it exit from the other-
you know what you are n u know if u r rite or wrong-to to b bothered too much by external factors-slightly selfish view-but nowadays-this s d attitude one shud carry along–
very nice article Sanjeeb thanx for sharing.
Hi Meena. I have been practicing this since couple of mths & it is working with me
jai gurudev if someone is blaming i feel he is stressed and sick and better to leave himself why go and catch the garbage
Wonderful article. My mother taught us this lesson several times whenever we responded on any situation or onto any person’s behaviour. This gyan was given to my mother by her grand mother-in-law, which she tried to inculcate in her children…
@ rekha di, anjali di n kavita di…
tahnk u so much to all of u for reminding me the old lesson where we wre asked to break the circle by ourselves otherwise it will continue.. by doing so.. v free the other person as well…..
so lovely of u all.. m getting enlightened day by day..:)
a beautiful article indeed. Feeling lighter.
@Rekha, @Anjali,@Abhishek : Thank you
Let the Criticiser(blamer) be your neighbors,the sins will go their Door Steps.
Saint Tukaram
a fantastic article feel so relaxed as i have experienced this on me this morning
Guruji…your simple words peel away all resistance from our hearts and minds. Compassion…compassion is the way! Luv you always Guruji!
jai gurudev to all of you…….. n yes thank u sanjeeb ji for this topic…
Thanx guruji…U help us deal wid everythin in life…
this was awesum…
wow beautiful article….what an eye opener!
so used to this cycle of blame-counter blame, but these words by SSR have shown how simple it could be to evolve out of this. Simple yet profound approach.
Thank you for sharing:)
Such a lovely article…. Very helpful in daily life.. Thx guruji for all the knowledge you give us…Sanjib you really doing a good job. keep it up. guruji is with you…love you guruji.
my guru knows all, and is taking care of everything….. he says…mere liye kadwe vachan sun kar to dekh, kripa na barsa doon to kehna….
never hurt anybody…. for the divine resides in every heart….. dear friends, i say briefly…. but have experienced a lot hence this comes straight from the heart…. just surrender and live in the now…. do what has to be done, yet be a witness to all that is happening. jaigurudev!