By Dalai Lama,
“The primary method of transforming our attitude about our enemies involves a systematic and rational analysis of our customary response to those who harm us.
Let us begin by examining our characteristic attitude towards our rivals. Generally speaking we do not wish good things for our enemies. But even if your enemy is made unhappy by your actions, what is there for you to be so joyful about?
If you think about it carefully, how can there be anything more wretched than carrying around the burden of such feelings of hostility and ill will? If we take revenge upon our enemy, then it creates a kind of vicious cycle.If you retaliate, the other person is not going to accept that, he or she is going to retaliate against you, and then you will do the same, and so it will go on. And especially when it happens at a community level, it can go from generation to generation.
The result is that both sides suffer. The the whole purpose of life becomes spoiled. Counteracting this way of thinking is the basis of the spirit of non-violence and understanding. There is an alternative way of viewing one’s enemy. Hatred can be the greatest stumbling block to the development of compassion and happiness. If you can learn to develop patience and tolerance towards your enemies, everything becomes easier and your compassion towards all beings begins to flow naturally. Compassion is the essence of spiritual life, and in order to become fully successful on practicing love and compassion, the practice of patience and tolerance is indispensable.
There is no fortitude similar to patience, just as there is no affliction worse than hatred. In fact, the enemy is the necessary condition for practicing patience. Without an enemy’s action, there is no possibility for patience and tolerance to arise. Our friends so not ordinarily test us and provide the opportunity to cultivate patience, only enemies can do this. From this standpoint, we can consider our enemy as a great teacher and revere them for giving this precious opportunity to practice patience.
The suggestion to venerate one’s enemy because of the opportunities for growth may be a bit hard to swallow at first, but the situation is analogous to a person seeking to tone and strengthen their body through weight lifting. Of course, the activity of lifting is uncomfortable at first, as the weights are very heavy, yet it is the very act of struggling against the resistance that ultimately results in our strength. It is our enemies who test us and provide us the resistance necessary for growth”.
nice sanjib
hi-need to study this n free time!
hmm-just read d article-sanjib-lovely way of dalai lama-gd way of handling d enemies i suppose-let us try so-sumday!!
HI Friendly morning Sanjib..!!:)Amazing to see that the thoughts of GREAT MEN …all over the world..these thoughts are so INSPIRING…so simply tackling with a COMPLEX issue of life ..HOW TO HANDLE ENEMIES…as in today’s world first of all sometime we know who our enemy is but sometime we dont even realise that who is our enemy or who is our … See Morefriend as ENEMY may enter our life in FORM of a friend …sameways A friend may enter in form of Enemy..
we really feel upset and have bitter feelings towards our enemies as we dont understand why they are against us in actions or thoughts..but cant forgive them
…but DALAI LAMA has introduced beautiful aspect…yes for our growth we certainly need such ppl in life as from them only we learn the beautiful feelings of patience that is much needed in life…and if we feel hostile and bitter al the time thinking about them is just creating burden of thoughts on us only…and the enemies they dont even know about still enjoying their lives..so this way we become OUR OWN Enemy..as we ourself robbing our own calmness
…but if we thiink differently we can feel that we jsut have to be careful in regard to our enemies..so not letting them allow to domore harm to ourself by being centred and composed..and in most of the cases we will find the hostility feeling dissolving away as our response toward enemy also was soft…and he or she wil be shocked to see this…and wil surely those enemity feelings or bitter feelings wil get dissolved with OUR LOVE AND COMPASSiON
..it was a great knowledge indeed ..and much needed in the struggling and competitive world today..thanks and regards…to all…GOD BLESS US ALL EVEN WHO SHOWED ENEMITY TOWARDS US…:):):):)
In reality, what we perceive on the outside is how we truly feel about ourselves on the inside. The only confrontation that ever truly arises is the turmoil we have inside. This may be uncomfortable truth for those just starting on the spiritual path…but ultimately, is is the truth.
In finding enemies with others, we only find an enemy within ourself….overcome your own mind, and you overcome any obstacles in life…this is the code of a true spiritual warrior..
Sanjib …Nice CODE as always…trully agree ….i just had such experience and in finding enemy in other person i just bothered myself only …nothing harm to enemy ..but my peace of mind got lost…so i will always remember your code ..and try to be friendly toward me by not seeing enemity in others…:) thanks for sharing your thought on this..:)
I remember having some disagreement with my nieghbours and after which i we stopped talking to each other and everytime i would leave the home or return back i would have to see their faces ,which ofcourse would be difficult situation as everytime i would have to pretend to avoid them.it was like lifetime headache and then one fine day , my spiritual master guided me to stop all this tension in my everyday life. she suggested me to take a box of sweets and just bend down once and visit them.
It was only a matter of few moments and i was surprised that they were themselves open to patch up with me.That day was the best day of my life ,i came out of their home so relieved and experienced immense lightness within myself.
What surprised me was tht ,after tht day i never encountered them in the corridors ever, like the earlier times .
I guess it was just God’s way of reminding me of my mistake, and once i learnt my lesson , i never had to face them again.
Now i never creat any enemies ever.
After this path of godliness, i meet only nice ppl everywhere i go and i guess thats how i landed up with yoga club too.
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It’s a pleasure to have you with us Poonam:)
Thanx Sanjib but the pleasure is all mine
great and good job sanjib
thanks…absolutely true..if we overcome our mind we can overcome any obstacles in our life…
Very good! Thanks for that! There’s a talk online somewhere by Wayne Dyer saying something quite similar.
He describes it as becoming like water. Rather than pushing against things, especially peoples anger – which only generates more anger if you do push, to be like water and just flow around it.
Eventually water wears down all resistance over time. Something like that anyway! Well worth reading/listening to that one if you can.
THANX Sanjib’
it indeed is a great pleasure to read the views expressed in these discussions
“Bura jo dekhan mein chala,bura na milya koi:jo mann dekha aapna mujhsa bura na koi”this is what came to my mind after reading this.I think we often get into doership & ego and then we perceive others as enemies or friends.What i believe is that we are always learning from interactions with other people (be it friend or foe).I hope i have got this right???????????
Very nice subject Sanjibji!
I myself experienced such a vast amount of negative energy within myself when I have negative thoughts about people. I haven’t conquered fully the negativity yet, but noticed that for every negative thought, trying to replace with a possitive attribute,which is helping me to feel peace at heart…
thanks ,keep posting this articles..
thnx sanjib
Sanjib ji Great!!
hmm-just read d article-sanjib-lovely way of dalai lama-gd way of handling d enemies i suppose-let us try so-sumday!!